Fresh Air.

L.aura (Elle-aura)



Laura which is Dominicanly pronounced LA-RAH

I picked up the nickname Elleaura from the sidewalks of Brooklyn
It is the mixture of my inner and outer self
EllE is the character that steps in the club to do her little two step : people usually meet her first
aura is the second transformation after breaking Elle apart.
I know this may sound like some Pokemon shit but "it is what it is" and we all do it.
Someone once told me that if I always act like Elle , aura would be miserable.
...and they were right.
Entering adulthood is a mighty task to complete.
I barely passed it with a 2.0
no shame to that

I was a female whose artistic heart was drowning in melancholia,
and after a few trips and stumbles
Someone finally threw a life jacket and saved me from drowning
That someone - was me.

On with Sucess!!!!!!

Who was I?

I hear my 6:10 am alarm and ignore it.

It's already 7:08 am and Laura is already late for school.

:: I run in some jeans and sneakers to try and make the last 35 mins of class.

I walk in the classroom and no one can recognize me under the new bangs.

I take a cold looking seat and leave my hood on...

I feel different today, not me... not me at all

I'm down to my last cigarette and my second class is almost starting.

I put it out in shame and walk towards the portables.

Its quite here and everyone is swallowing shame because test scores are shortly announced.

Going down the D list was already hell for me.

It wasn't until he reached the R's that I almost fell!

Finally, he calls my last name and shouts: 81! -- a B -- a passing grade.

Which only gave me happiness for a short while...

a passing grade, one relevant symbol of success

When class was over, I'm puffing my last stick realizing that I must face the cold,

again and alone. Without any companion but my i pod... like how its been lately.

I hop on the B train and my usual seat is taken by a short middle aged women

who repeatedly grins at me.

I pass her and walk towards the last seat to the left.

My hood is still on my head and I'm still some sort of  zombie.

I go home, shower, and make up myself for the usual "routine"

I barely look in the mirror, because when I try tears want to appear

I feel odd in MY clothes, in MY shoes!!

Everything seems unreachable and I'm too short for these games!

I am a stranger in my own skin::

I'm trying to remain strong and play the person that I know is in me but today is missing///

It is strange.

I am pretending to be myself because the real me inside is lost, she's banished.

I reach work where things are jumpy and moody --

I cant...

I cant...

I can't continue to write this.. it makes no sense.....

Today is the day I lost myself

and I'm trying to find me

and i cant

and by writing this just makes me more angry

I hate the feeling of

loosing.

 Maybe throwback NERD can help

1+2-2

Sometimes solitude sounds great.
But feeling love from others makes the loneliness go away.
I still have a zillion thoughts about being alone.
But being around people is awesome, and all i know.

And I claim to be "the loneliest bitch in NY'.

But...
People we are, People we love

iight I'mtalkintoooomuch

Telling a little...

To make some understand...


Sometimes I am and sometimes I m not.
I try my best to be- damn its hard.
I please others to please myself- and lately there's been no pleasing at all.
I used to walk and let others get ahead- but today I run and don't look back.
The older I get the more stops I make
and I seem to stop here the most
Stuck.
Sometimes I feel heavy - but laughter always makes me light.
I seem to always ask the wrong questions- because I cannot get solid answers
I fear to care and I fear to not
So I pretend to be the medium
But I m really on the heavier end
I try to remember that I m not the only one who struggles...
and people just like me have the same issues
and seem to
survive.

Turning 21. [12am-12pm]

Thank You everyone who contacted me on my 21st Birthday! I'm so glad to get some of my contacts back. More or less I'm very surprised that many of you even remembered that silly date to be my birthday.
I'm full of cheezy-ass smiles right now.

The celebration actually started on Saturday popping some Moet Nectar at the office which was the perfect excuse to lack-ff some more!
Sunday was great -- supporting Noise Maker Media and the premier of The Ultimate. Sunday night dinner was extremely orgasmic (thanks guys).
Monday... The Rain was lovely (sarcasm not intended)
I had an 8am exam, and a 11am doctors appointment , for lunch-Sushi , and Dinner- the best cooked fish in America washed down with some Rose Champagne at the office with two geeky guys <3
After work- Went to the coolest most bebopish jazz bar ever: Im promoting the great wine!
After the great music, better ambiance came along...
Great flowers, gifts, and hugs.
Ahh... it was great! - Thank yOu all!

April 6, 2009 From a slanted perspective...

^ this was actually on Monday at the office. Looked a bit bum-ish but was comfortable :)

-Pictures taken with my BB.

                                   ...nothing fancy, just filled with great thinking and surroundings!